Twisted Christian

I've been doing a lot of thinking about marriage lately. It has become a popular topic recently, due in part to the controversy over same-sex marriage, and the extremely high rate of divorce.

From my perspective as a Christian, there seem to be two types of marriage, though the distinction is often blurred. There is marriage in the eyes of God, and marriage in the eyes of man, or the legal marriage.

In western culture, a man and a woman are joined in marriage in front of a government appointed official and they are said to be married. The proper documents are signed and filed, and a Certificate of Marriage is obtained and that is it. Nothing more is required.

Being a Christian, I wonder if this ceremony is actually necessary. I can't seem to find anywhere in the Bible that two people are to stand before a government approved official and proclaim their intentions in order to be married. Doesn't marriage take place when a man and a woman are in love, true agape love, and have sex? Some would say that marriage requires a covenant between this man and woman and God, but isn't the act of sex a covenant? What about if two people verbally make a covenant with each other and God and then have sex, doesn't that constitute a marriage in God's eyes?

If you don't view marriage as a covenant between two people and God, then marriage is merely a label instead of a state of being. When two people make that covenant with each other and God, they are creating the only bond that is of any worth. A legal document doesn't make you married. Neither does being part of a ceremony before an officiant, religious or otherwise.

One argument that I keep coming across is that we are to follow the laws of this world, therefore the marriage ceremony is required. But I say that is only required if you want to take advantage of the legal benefits of marriage. The law doesn't care if we say we are married and live together and go about our lives as married couples. If you check the 'married' box instead of the 'common-law' box on a government document they might correct you, but otherwise it really doesn't matter. What should matter is that we are married in the eyes of God, no one else.

People are all up in arms about same-sex marriage saying that it is desecrating the act of marriage and turning it into something it is not. Isn't that what 50% of straight couples do with divorce? How is letting two people that truly love each other get married going to ruin the concept of marriage anymore than we are already doing? It's merely a legal label that humans use to keep track of who said what to whom and when. It is not binding with God. God doesn't care about this little piece of paper that we place so much emphasis on.

If same-sex couples want to get married, let them! They say they are in love, they say they want to get married, who are we to stand in their way? If they want to proclaim to the world that they are legally married and can enjoy all the benefits, legal and otherwise, that it brings, then let them! Marriage is a covenant between them and God, not us. We are not fit to judge them or tell them that God won't accept them and their marriage. That is God's deal, not ours. I don't see any difference between a same-sex marriage and that of two non-believers. Though if the same-sex couple are Christians then they would care more if it was accepted in the eyes of God. But that's between Him and them, not us.

Now I'm not saying the man-made wedding ceremony isn't important. God loves us to stand up and proclaim love in His name, and make public confessions before both Him and witnesses, take baptism as an example. I'm just saying that it isn't required to be married in the eyes of God, and that being married in the eyes of man is secondary.